Am I Going Behind My Manager's Back?

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Hey folks, I'm just doing a little bit of cardio, so hopefully the noise isn't too much, but this is a question that was submitted from the codecommute.com website. It's anonymous, which is awesome. So if you have questions, you can go to code.com, check the box. Anonymous question. So this one says, "Work at a big tech company as a senior engineer, doing well at my job so far. They feel like they have a good relationship with their manager and their skip level." And then they said they had a one-on-one with their skip level manager and it seems like their skip level manager is asking them to create what seems like a a visualization, a strategic plan uh especially to help with like cross team dependencies. And so this the skip level is making it seem like they're going to be using this documentation when it comes to like working with their leadership team.

But this person said that they kind of get the feeling that it's like the skip level doesn't really trust their manager or like kind of wants this engineer to I don't know. They kind of said like handhold through it. Um, but so they're like they feel like it's a really cool opportunity. They want to help and it seems valuable, but they're kind of nervous about how this might affect the relationship with their manager kind of thing. So, um, it's kind of weird, right? It's like, I want to do this good thing, but am I stepping on toes? So, they're asking for some input on this. And then they they mention too like I'm trying to get promoted to principal. So, what do we think about this? I think this is interesting. Um, the fact that they say they have a good relationship with their manager and skip level I think is a good start.

We don't really have the details about how technical their manager actually is. So, for example, they haven't said it, but like if they think or they have the impression like their manager is just not technical to begin with and like maybe that's a really lacking skill even though they have a good working relationship with them. Maybe maybe kind of what they're hypothesizing with their skip level in this ask is true. I just I genuinely I don't feel like it's a good thing in general to try and work around people. I I think is my probably my biggest takeaway with this kind of stuff. Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying there's never a situation where that makes sense or or it's it's going to be, I don't know, easier if they talk to their manager about it or that's not going to cause an issue.

Like, I don't know is the reality. But I I I think if I were in this situation, I would probably be like, "Okay, well, I have this ass coming to me sort of around my manager is sort of how it's framed. My manager is the direct person who is going to be responsible for promotions, responsible for rewards, even though that goes up to your skip. they're going to be responsible for like sorry I'm responsible to my manager for my day-to-day stuff. So if I have some other project some other ask of me it feels a little weird that I would be doing that like behind the scenes where that's taking my time and attention from like my core responsibilities. So, the way that I see this is like you're being asked to do this thing from your skip and it seems like a really good opportunity.

I think this is something you should do, but I would try to like talk to your manager about it. That's what I would do. And the reason I say that is like a couple of things. Um, one is like already what I said around you're already like accountable to your manager with your regular responsibilities. You directly report to them. But one of the things they talk about is like like in their in their message in is like they don't want to wreck that relationship with their manager. And I don't I don't necessarily think that just like doing something for your skip like is like an ere relationship with your manager kind of thing. But the the fact that this person already feels like I'm kind of going around my manager to me is the indicator that they should probably talk to their manager. So to give you an example, there's I work I do like a bunch of security stuff.

There's some stuff that I work directly with my skip level on, right? Like, it's not that I'm hiding it from my manager. It's just that if we're working on stuff and my skip level approaches me and we're doing something with security, sometimes I just work with them on it, we get it done, right? It's not like it's being hidden. It would be a matter of like if it came up in conversation or if I were doing a one-on-one with my manager, I'd probably bring it up and say, "Hey, doing this thing." Like I would not hide it, but it comes up enough where I'm also not like constantly going out of my way to be like, "Oh, this thing I'm doing. Oh, this thing I'm doing." It it would just kind of be noisy. In this case, this seems like it is out of the ordinary.

Sounds like it's not very regular that this person's skip level. It's like, "Hey, can you do this thing for me?" So, if you're already feeling like you're going around your manager, I would probably bring it up. Now, I think one of the reasons this seems like extra complicated for this individual is because one, they feel like they're working around their manager, but they're also kind of they have this suspicion it's because their manager or their skip level, sorry, doesn't think that their manager is like technical enough or something for it. And I feel like if they have this belief already, like that's probably giving them this weird biased feeling about this conversation with their manager. I don't really know how to put that into words properly, but I think there's a lot of hesitation because they're building up a lot of this in their head. And as a general guideline, I would say when you start to do this, it's probably just a better opportunity to go talk about things.

And they don't have to talk to their manager in a way that's like, hey, look, skip level asked me to do this because they don't think that you're capable of it. Right? That's not that might be true. No one said it explicitly. So you would be kind of like making that up if you said that. And obviously it would be a really weird thing to say to someone. So you could bring that up to your manager is like, "Hey, talk to the skip level in my oneonone. You know, talk about whatever general feedback you were getting. Share that and then say, hey, like there was this cool opportunity they asked if I could help out with. It seemed like a good fit. It seems like it's related to some of the experience, you know, subject matter expertise that I have. So, like I I signed up to be able to help with that.

You don't have to frame this as a, you know, they came to me because they think that you're inadequate kind of thing. And I think that you could use this as an opportunity to be like, hey, so I'm going to work on this thing. Sorry, my screen is going to fall asleep here. Um, I'm going to work on this thing and like let's talk about the other things that I still have to deliver because like I said, you don't want to just go do this thing for your skip level and then drop all the other work you're doing. So, I think it's a really good opportunity to talk through that with your manager. Here's the other deliverables I got going on, the other projects. Now, I got this thing, too. here's why I'm doing that. So again, it's not like this constant I have to work around my manager to get this thing delivered.

But I think that would be my advice for this person. I don't think I'm I'm thinking about this in different ways, right? If I were in this situation, how would I approach it? I feel like I don't want to hide things from my manager. I just don't think that's really helpful. I'm also thinking if I were the manager and this kind of thing was happening. I I'm sure I have principal engineers on my team that my manager has talked to and been like come up with a design for this. And I don't I don't think that it's cuz my manager thinks I'm dumb. It's probably because he's talking to the person who could do it most effectively. Um, the only time that would feel Yeah, I think the only time that would feel weird is like if no one told me about it, right?

If my manager didn't bring it up, which is fine if he forgets or something and then also my employee didn't bring it up cuz he forgot or she forgot and then I'm just like left in the dark. But that's not like a malicious thing. I think that could absolutely happen just because people forgot. So, I think that would be the only time where I'd be like, "Oh, what the heck?" Like, "Why did that happen?" But not the actual act of >> I'm recording a video. I'm going to fall off this treadmill. >> While I'm walking. Yeah. >> I don't know yet. I have to watch it back. I don't edit them either. So, this is in there. >> Huh? because this is my other YouTube channel. So anyway, I think that that would be the only concern is like just being left in the dark on it.

Um, and again, like have I had that happen? Probably a couple times, but it's never been like a malicious thing or it's never felt malicious at least. So, you kind of follow up on these things, get the details, catch up, go, okay, let's move on. Yeah, it's my advice for this person. Like, probably don't shy away from your manager. Talk through it. and it sounds like a cool opportunity. So, thanks for writing that in. If you have questions, leave them below in the comments or go to codemute.com and submit anonymously. Anonymously. Anonymously. See you in the next one.