I'm AFRAID To Ask My Developer Boss Questions...

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all right it's Wednesday December 18th I'm leaving the office a little early today um drove in a little late leaving a little early kind of seems backwards but um it's because I started my day pretty early I had to be on calls with folks in Europe uh oh it says the wing is stuck on the car U I had to be on calls with folks in Europe early this morning um not super early but I had to make sure I had updates and stuff uh before then so I was I basically started my work day like right after 6 a.m. so I even told someone on my team right before I was leaving I said I'm going to listen to my own advice and I'm going to leave early cuz I started early um no guilt right got to practice it um no but it

was a productive day uh got to meet with people for some stuff that I need to coordinate so that felt really good to get that out of the way but I know you don't care cuz you want to hear about the topics I got topics no one likes my rambling right got to get into the meat of it so I got a topic that I want to talk about from a commenter um and I meant to pull it up I'm at this light maybe I'll do that um if I can this is hopefully not going to switch on me it's switching on me okay whatever um my apologies friend if I am missing some of this but I think that the way that the comment went was something along the lines of uh this person is working at a startup and it's actually just them

and the and I don't know if this is the whole company or just on sort of like the development side but it's like the founder their boss right it's the only other developer and sorry if I got that wrong but it sounds like their boss is the only other developer that's how I I think the point that matters here and um it seems like they're saying that they're their boss right makes them they seem like they're agitated it makes them feel like uh they're kind of afraid to ask questions and this is I think in response to one of the other videos I put out the other day so terms of like onboarding asking questions and stuff like that so uh I wanted to talk through this because I think it's really important um and I want I was trying to think about like how

I wanted to talk about this and I think there's a few different angles I want to look at um there's sort of the obvious one that's in my mind which is kind of like around um you know making sure that you have boundaries making sure that you have a safe place to to ask questions a safe place to fail like these things make a good environment so I wanted to talk about that and then I wanted to talk about like soft skills empathy and kind of look at things from different angles so that's my plan as I go through this like I said like I've said before like I don't I don't rehearse these these are just like a stream of Consciousness but I want like for this one especially I wanted to make sure I had something that was like a couple things I

want to at least get to so we'll see how that goes um a friendly reminder to folks if you want me to talk through different things about uh career development software engineering things like that let me know uh hopefully this person turns left there we go um just comment and the more detail you add the more perspective I can try to give and if you're not comfortable commenting uh that's totally cool if you want to send me a message so that it's totally Anonymous that great uh just look for Dev leader on social media and um send me a message and just you know again same thing the more detail you provide the more context I have with uh answering um I think I've already had one one viewer kind of it was kind of funny they were apologizing for not offering more detail in

their question uh but you know like no oh my God that's bright oh my goodness I can't see anything this is crazy um you know um it's fine like you know if if you don't provide a lot of detail I I unfortunately kind of give a more generic answer so I'm just calling it out so that if you want more specifics you can you can do that uh I can't get over how bright the sun is the angle because I'm leaving a little bit earlier than usual this is not like if I move my head see like you see how much Sun's on my face that's nuts and as soon as it Peaks out from the visor wear my sunglasses man I think this is a situation where like I was driving with my wife or something and I might have put them in the

other vehicle oh my God but okay let's get into it um so the first part like I said I wanted to talk through was around uh kind of my thoughts are on like boundaries with this type of thing uh what I think is a good environment versus a bad environment to work in and I think that people like you you want to strive to find so if you're someone who's not sort of controlling the environment and you're part of it um you want to find an environment that uh makes you feel like like you have a safe place to fail it's like psychological safety is a a phrase that gets used um if you don't have psychological safety then it's really difficult to be effective you you'll constantly feel like you're being scrutinized for everything or afraid to like try and do things and and

then you know there's consequences if there's ever a mistake so it really impedes you and it's like it's not it's not a good spot to be and if you're someone that has influence over the environment right um sorry just merging Lanes here um you know there something to keep in mind so as we get into the the second half of this conversation I'm going to try to talk more about this from the other direction but I want you to keep that in mind because I don't know people's backgrounds that are listening um not creating a safe place for people like psychological safety making sure that they know it's okay to make mistakes and ask questions Um this can like be devastating in terms of productivity engagement and stuff like that it's a terrible spot to work okay and you might not realize it but you

might be contributing to it and that's why I want to call attention to it so for this individual that wrote the comment right um I you know I I I can understand what you're saying um to be in a position where you're like I got questions or pardon me if you're a junior trying to make progress on stuff and like the one person that you have to go to is your boss that already creates a bit of a weird um Dynamic sometimes depends on the person right depends on the boss depends on the person and uh if you layer on to that that they're being a bit of an ass hat and um and making you feel a certain way like you're now afraid to ask questions and that kind of stuff I I can totally get the feeling around that what is going on

here sorry I shouldn't read messages uh I just got pinged on something for work and we're not moving at all so I love so that kind of situation especially as a junior can be like what's a good phrase for this like uh you know like your your hands feel tied right like you're like I can't I feel like I'm stuck on things or I have questions about things and I can't make progress on them because now I don't want to ask questions because if I ask questions my boss is mean to me I don't like when they're mean to me why are they mean to me right like and then you're like well if I don't make progress then they're going to be mean to me because I'm not making progress and it's this like vicious cycle of like nothing good comes out of this

okay so I I wanted to like you know I just wanted to say this out loud right like I I understand why that would be terrible um I don't like I don't know as someone that's a little bit older now and I've seen some at this point I guess uh I would say like at no point I wouldn't this is just me I'm not saying that this is the advice but at no point now in my career would I ever tolerate something like that um and the reason I'm saying that's not advice I have to give here is like I could understand that maybe this person's circumstances like they're like okay but like I can't just like Snap My Fingers and get another job like I don't know if I could either I don't know if I could either I would love to be able

to say that confidently but I can't you know I don't know these things um but fortunately if I had to not work for a little bit I would still be okay I don't know other people's circumstances so I'm not going to advise like hey just like get rid of this guy you're fine I don't know that um so it's not what I want to suggest but I want to talk through different perspectives on this so that we could try to build some understanding I'm coming in buddy you're letting me in you drive a BMW oh but they use a signal to go the other way amazing not something that you would expect in real life at least so it's not something I would tolerate because I've seen like I have seen the impact that it has on other people right I've had to even coach

and work with people that have gone through stuff like this um there is a a woman on LinkedIn that has reached out to me before and described like a a toxic environment where um you know basically not given a a place with psychological safety and made to feel pretty terrible and um you know we talked we talked through it and uh you know she's been very thankful that just to have the perspective like this is not supposed to be an acceptable thing okay so I'm I would like this person to know that's going through this the reality is you should not necessarily tolerate you know people making you feel like and this isn't software engineering advice this is life advice like it just that's just the reality of it now if you're in a situation where you're like okay that's nice Nick but I can't

just walk away from the job we'll we'll try to touch on some of that okay so I I wanted to get this part out in the beginning because I can understand that if this is someone's kind of like first experience is working that maybe they start to think that this is normal and I don't want them to go through their whole career or start their career off like forming this expectation that it's normal and for folks that are listening or watching and they're like yeah well that is normal that's what I had to go through um it's not normal it's not good and I don't care if you went through it you want to try to normalize it it's just not um the problem with normalizing it and when I say I don't care I I don't mean like I I'm not sorry that you

went through it cuz it's crappy I don't want you to have to go through it but I don't I don't think it's acceptable to try and normalize it because what happens is that people that normalize this later in their career it's very much like bullying oh my God you're not supposed to pull out there dummy anyway um we shouldn't normalize this stuff because just like bullying later on people go well that's normal right like I went through it this is how it worked like it's not don't do it it's a thing to do to someone else so don't do it okay like we're not supposed to create these environments for people people where they're like afraid of trying to work and do their best effort so don't do it you don't want that to happen to you and it's not a matter of like oh

people are just being soft like give me a break man like people are like just starting off their careers and now they're afraid to ask questions like it's not okay so if you are someone that has experienced this instead of trying to make it normal I actually mentored uh like very briefly did like aspiring manager mentorship and one of the things that this manager said to me or aspiring manager said to me was like he's had some really crap managers in his career and he's like those are all the things that I want to make sure that I can like I want to make sure those never happen to other people like I want to be the manager that like this kind of stuff doesn't happen with my employees like I will not do that to them because it happened to me and it's garbage

so I I would love if people took that perspective right don't normalize it because it was a crappy thing and that means other people have to go through it too no it's no good we want to create environments with psychological safety okay got to bring my blood pressure down um I wanted to talk though about like how do we navigate this right and I as I start to go through this what you might notice is like I I want to clarify this before I get into it I am not siding with the um the boss in this case okay I'm not siding with the boss because I don't think this is acceptable behavior but in order to try and understand what's going on you will see me start to try and look at things from different perspectives and in isolation you might say well Nick

it sounds like you're agreeing with the boss and defending him and I'm not okay but we I think in in order to understand these things we do have to look at them from different angles and we call that empathy it doesn't mean that I'm defending them but we're trying to understand the lens at which people are looking at things okay so now that's out of the way still someone's probably going to comment and say I can't believe you would condone making people feel unsafe in the workplace they can't ask questions I'm not I'm not saying that but with that said um so it's a startup I believe this person said it's the founder right their boss is the founder and it's the only other Dev and they feel like they're pissing off their boss or agitating them they're kind of scared to ask questions now

what I wanted to start looking at was like like let's understand maybe what's happening okay so again not defending anyone this person who is the founder I'm assuming uh maybe this person's not aware and maybe viewers aren't really aware um or maybe you are but if you're trying to run a business and you're paying employees like there's going to be this astronomical amount of pressure that's on you and this is something that Founders have to take on again it's not an excuse for being a dag but it's sort of a reality that that happens right like there's going to be an enormous amount of stress and when I heard I'm trying to think of a good way like the my my previous employer the the founder I I I probably heard it from both the founder and the CEO there at different points in different

ways but I believe the founder said something like you know the this idea like that he had to go take some product that he was building and then start to form a company around it it wasn't so much like I I don't think he felt like oh man like the technology is going to be the impossible thing or the sales and marketing is going to be the impossible thing but the I feel like the scary thing was like I'm now responsible for the livelihood of other people which is a kind of a crazy thing to say because I mean the product was lit literally for digital forensics and got used for helping save lives of like you know uh especially like unfortunately like sexually abused children for helping catch uh pedophiles and you know prove their like innocence or or guilty so used in really

extreme situations and he's still saying like this kind of like what's the word like this burden of being able to ensure that he can help like keep make sure people have jobs right this extra layer of like not only am I running this business we got to get people buying you know we have to you know we have software we have to make sure it's doing the right thing for law enforcement investigators examiners but like I have people that are relying on me to support their own families so it's this astronomical amount of pressure okay so what I want to be able to do here is again we're trying to uh even empathize with someone that we feel like is being an I get it but like let's let's see that right like so we have that going on this person's probably under tremendous stress

now especially oh my God these people driving now this guy's going to tailgate him he's pissed off not a good recipe um you have someone who's under a ton of stress it's a startup it's a small company right they need like it's want and need they need and want their their hires to be up to speed very quickly but the problem with that is like we can't just snap our fingers and make it happen especially if someone's Junior and and brand new to a company it's going to take time it's very rare that people are just awesome and effective without any hand holding especially if they're Junior right so it's probably another layer of stress where this guy's like man like we hired this person like it's almost like stop asking questions just get the work done like that's that's why we hired you right

um but the reality is it doesn't work like that at all and in fact this is one of the challenges things is like and I talked about this in previous Vlog entries right like it's actually going to get worse before it gets better if he's doing a good job with it he needs to take the time to teach and coach it's the only way I shouldn't say only way it's not fair it's in my opinion the the way to go when you're trying to get people onboarded otherwise you're you're either going to scare people away or when you go to help you're just giving answers to make the person go away and it's not good it's not sustainable so the the the first thing I wanted to do here was empathize with the employer so that we can understand where some of this stuff comes

from again not supporting it not defending it but I think we need to understand it or try to now all the things I'm saying might be completely off base maybe this person is like I don't you know whatever it's fine like uh I got money in the bank I could pay whatever employee doesn't matter uh maybe everything I said was completely irrelevant and they have an they have a health issue that we don't know about and they're totally stressed about that it could be anything my point is that if we go through this thought exercise of trying to understand why someone might be acting a certain way then we can try to approach things okay cuz otherwise it's like we're not we're not doing anything and we're just going to sit here and be be scared and that's not good either okay so if we

start to understand that maybe this person is they're agitated they're um they're stressed or they got all these things going on okay let's let's make that assumption and that would explain the behavior does not make it right but it at least explains why it's happening okay so what are some things that maybe we could start to think about how could we start to approach our interactions that would help minimize some of this at least not exacerbate it right and to give you an example we don't know this about the person that wrote the comment perhaps I'm just going to make this up to exagger perhaps um regularly throughout the day they're sitting there and asking questions okay so they got and and I feel like rightfully so because they're new and they're like I don't know what this does tell me what this does how

does this work I got lots of questions so they're constantly asking them but maybe they don't realize that the rate at with which they're asking questions or how they're asking questions even is disruptive perhaps right I'm just making these scenarios up perhaps it's disruptive and the Cadence is too frequent and it ends up meaning that this person that's already stressed trying to get something done from a programming perspective feels like they're constantly being interrupted and they can't get some Focus time so they're agitated they're stressed and now they're being constantly interrupted okay not a good spot to be in again doesn't give them a good reason to be an home I'll keep saying it so what maybe what could we do here right so maybe it's a matter of okay uh if it's a frequency of questions type of thing maybe what we could do

is if we were in this position we could say okay I got a couple questions and instead of going to this person every 20 minutes 30 minutes every hour maybe what I could do is work on what I can for the day and in my notebook I could ask you know I could write down a few things and I could at the end of the day say hey like do you have some time and I have a few questions that maybe we could go through and you can answer for me pardon me sorry I felt way better all day but I don't have any water so now my throat's getting very dry so you're reducing the Cadence right so the uh and again if you're more Junior maybe you haven't realized this kind of thing yet but breaking Focus can be very very costly so

it's the same number of questions it's just that doing them in a batch means that they can carve out some time to do it and they're not taking this hit of multiple interruptions kind of spread out that might be one thing right by the way you'll maybe get the hint that there could be a million different things that you could try to do here so I'm not trying to give you an exhaustive list I'm trying to get you to think about if we understand why someone might be acting a certain way we can try to navigate it perhaps it's not even the volume of questions it's how they're being asked and I'll give you an example of something that really bothers me okay I and and don't take advantage of this someone definitely will but um because I've seen this kind of thing happened before

when I say it I get very very agitated when I get a message that just says hey Nick hi hello hey Nick and that's it I get very agitated and it's funny my wife works in Psychology and I don't anytime I've mentioned to her like this kind of thing makes me upset she's like that's completely irrational and I feel like I need to explain it but uh you probably maybe for for folks that are that are new maybe not for folks that have been industry for a while you probably heard of like no hello and basically it's this idea that like if you want to communicate with me a synchronously that's totally cool but just if you're going to say hello or hi like that's totally fine but put in the rest of what you're trying to ask or talk about because when you don't

you're TR the implication is that to me it feels like you're forcing synchronous communication otherwise you're allowing very very ineffective asynchronous communication you say to me hey Nick and then I don't respond to you for a I don't know we're in different geographies so 12 hours later like whatever it is I say hey John and then 12 hours later you're like so Nick I was thinking about this thing do you have time to talk about it and then 12 hours later I'm like hey sure John I have some time you should schedule the call and then 12 hours later John's like awesome sounds good nick uh is this day free do you see how ridiculous this is how much time that wastes like that it literally pisses me off because I go through the whole thought exercise of how much time are we going to

waste here I know it sounds kind of irrational now that I'm saying it but the the other thing is that if it's not purely wasting time it's to me it feels like forcing synchronous communication because now it feels like maybe you have the expectation that I'm going to respond to you and and you're waiting there so that you can be prompted back so now that you can ask me the thing if you just instead ask the thing that I can as soon as I'm available and can answer I can literally give you the information that you need it blows my mind and it makes me maybe it is irrational maybe I mean my wife is usually right so I'll give her that um but like it really drives me nuts and I know I'm not alone maybe you are like me but my point with

going into this is like perhaps how you're asking questions is not helping sorry my goodness so it might be you can even have a conversation about it right or maybe kind of do a reflection on what you're I know hot you're asking questions uh in my previous entries for code commute I was talking about trying to do stuff first right if you've ensured that you've tried doing some things first you're not getting someone else to start off with a blank slate for you they feel like okay like this person is doing something they are they are putting some effort in they are trying to learn and get better great okay what are you stuck on let's let's talk through it right what have you tried so far that's the cue so maybe that's a reflection that you want to do and see can I be

communicating more effectively so we talked about Cadence maybe the delivery right these are things um the this I have this comes up a lot and I I I know it's like significantly easier said than done but um I still like to talk about it because I think that I think that it drives like ridiculously good like positive um improvements in like working relationship ships so I want I wanted to talk through this idea um and C I'm not I'm not picking on this person that left the comment and I'm not picking on anyone that is asking for help about like interpersonal things but I'm going to I'm going to say it and it might sound like ridiculously straightforward and maybe condescending that's not my intention it's just to get a little bit of a shock Factor okay but like why don't you talk to the

person about it I don't know sorry this person doesn't realize that there's technically only one lane here except a turning lane and they don't have their turn signal on so they're basically about to do something really funny oh no they turned right they did turn right without their signal and they waited the entire light that they could have turned right on on and just didn't do it I don't know what's worse to be honest but now I'm stuck behind them and he pissed off for the next five minutes okay um but I mean it sounds kind of funny right like why don't you go talk to the person about it and I know the answer I know the answer is because it's fraking weird it's difficult no one likes doing it so we avoid it I I get it no one likes doing it I

totally get it right but we need to do it more and I can promise you it gets easier and I would mostly guarantee mostly because I can't speak for everyone but I would mostly guarantee that you're going to have a positive outcome in some capacity and the reason that's the case is because conversations like this are hard they're hard if someone needed to have a difficult conversation with me and this has happened before on multiple occasions if someone needed to have a difficult conversation with me and they kind of muster up the courage and they have the conversation with me and they have to tell me whether it's feedback whether it's something that's difficult for them to admit whatever it is like there is a lot of respect that I have for that person for doing it because they didn't shy away from doing it

okay so don't get me wrong I understand that this working relationship for you now has made you kind of fearful of your of your boss right your manager who is the other Dev I understand that but there could be an opportunity here where you talk to them about it now you might say well they're definitely going to get more angry or they're definitely going to fire me and here's what I have to say right like the situation already sounds pretty unfortunately right like if there's a psychological safety problem where you don't feel like you can do things without being you know chewed out for it it already sounds pretty bad so is it going to get much worse if you talk about it or bring it up a genuine question because you might say oh yeah I could see this getting a lot worse in

which case don't take my advice that's fine but is it going to get much worse if they were to fire you is that actually the worst thing that could happen to you right now because it sounds like maybe the Situation's pretty bad and maybe you would say well yeah then I don't have a job and it's impossible to get a job and I don't want that to to happen Okay so don't take my advice that's fine but I want you to go through the thought exercise because one of the outcomes of this is like oh then they understand that I'm having some challenges and I'm feeling like I you know can't navigate things properly and I want to improve the scenario like I want to make it better and maybe they don't have total awareness that they're making you feel a certain way so if

they don't have a feedback loop they can't drive change either okay so I I get that it's a hard suggestion to listen to because you're like that's not going to go well that's going to be really hard I know but if you kind of weigh out the pros and cons of it be honest with yourself like am I just being fearful of having a conversation or like truthfully the cons of having such a conversation are so great that you're like no it's not going to fly okay now what I will say is that in my experience having really difficult conversations feels really crappy in the short term feels terrible but I have not yet had an experience in my own career or from talking with others where I've coached them through through this where having a difficult conversation has made things worse it has only

either stayed the same or made things much better so it's just a thought but if you're kind of struggling to find ways to improve the working relationship with your uh your Superior um I might you know take some time and say hey look like um and we should maybe kind of frame up like how does this actually look right because what you probably don't want to do is say hey boss you make me feel like because probably probably not teeing that one up too great um but you could you know if we're leaning into like what's back to that thought around empathy they're stressed they got a lot going on they know they need they have someone new they're trying to help ramp up but they're already kind of like like I said they're stress up they got a lot just too many things to

focus on on you could say like hey look like I I realize I'm asking lots of questions okay so kind of acknowledging like what's going on um I want to make sure that I can ramp up effectively okay like leaning in again to things that they're going to want so I'm trying to do a good job I want to get ramped up effectively I realize I'm asking lots of questions um uh and then you could talk about how you feel so like it kind of feels like to me like I I might be maybe I'm B bothering if I'm asking too many questions or it might be distracting uh just because I'm trying to to help here so could we could you talk me through like are there better ways that I could be doing this like um do you have any suggestions around like

how I could get unblocked or uh approach asking questions so that I can be effective without distracting you too much okay so this is take it do whatever you want with it um but the idea is kind of like let me acknowledge what I believe the other person is feeling let me explain some of how I'm feeling you're also putting your goals out there which you know if someone was trying to say to me I'm just trying to find ways to help you like I'm just trying to find ways to be more effective and help you and I'm not sure the best way to do that could you give me some advice with how to help you I feel like it would be really difficult to be upset with that person about it I know it's one more question right it's one more question just

later on but you know I I feel like it's it's very difficult to be upset with someone for for wanting to do good okay so um I am backing up into the driveway that was actually a really fast Drive um but quick reminder that no I I don't think uh at this point in my career I wouldn't I wouldn't take crap like that i' I've said it I think I've said it maybe not in on code commute but I've said if I had a boss yell at me if I had a boss yell or try to embarrass me in front of a group of people like belittle me I would resign on the spot and it's not not for fear it's because you don't get to do that to me because I'm an adult and I literally do not have to put up with like

that because I won't put up with like that for my parents so you're not above my parents you're not doing that to me so that's how I would approach things at this stage of my career um I have like I said my circumstances may be very different from you maybe this is something that you are like I'm going to tolerate this because I don't have other options right now it is not the normal thing so please do not kind of grow into your career assuming that it's acceptable to be mean to other people to create environments that are not uh you know conducive for psychological safety so if everyone's fearful of making mistakes no bueno we don't want that if people are afraid to ask questions nope not okay so as you become more senior in your career because you will continue to grow and

get better and there will be other jobs and other roles you're going to do awesome you don't want to mirror and mimic this behavior that you saw early on in your career in fact I would love if you remember how this feels and how it's not good and that you can be part of making that better for other people I feel like that's why I try to have these conversations because I've had a pretty good career I don't have a ton of things where I'm like oh man it's always been mean people to me um and I want to remind people like it's almost like the opposite right I have had really good experiences and they are out there and I've seen people and heard from people that have had really terrible experiences and uh you know we can as we grow in our careers

we can be part of making that experience better for other people so um keep that in mind um empathy is important I hope that when we were like talking through that you could see it's it's really awkward and difficult to try and have empathy for someone you're like man they're making me feel bad um totally get it that's why I had to have like a 100 disclaimers but I think going through that is helpful I think it that's almost always like a very helpful thing is like to try and at least understand some of the other perspective doesn't mean you have to this is the important part you don't have to agree with it right I don't agree with being stressed out and taking it out on people no that's like when I said the the hello like hey Nick and just leaving it there

and that pisses me off you know what I don't do I don't say hey Jimmy why don't you never message me again you complete idiot why are you so stupid I don't do that I just don't like it now what I should be doing if I Channel some of my wife's advice is I should let Jimmy know in this case so Jimmy says hey Nick and I say hey Jimmy what's up just by the like heads up by the way if you're trying to get a hold of me uh it's actually really helpful if you just kind of give me the whole message that way when I get some time I can respond to you right away and that way I won't keep you held up Jimmy I don't think I know what Jimmy so sorry if you're watching this your name's jimmmy and you're

feeling awkward now um but like we we don't we don't have excuses to be mean to other people so even though I have these situations for myself where I'm like yeah that really grinds my gears it's not an excuse um it's just not so don't do it and I think one of the last things that I was trying to talk through is like you know difficult conversations right they're difficult but they're um they can be really beneficial to get through sometimes sometimes they're uh the most difficult part was just made up in your head right you kind of live through every possible terrible option that you're thinking about and you go to have one of these difficult conversations and the person's just actually very receptive and they're like yeah like I have been noticing that I have been pretty stressed out and like you know

I was thinking about this the other day maybe I was uh maybe a little short with you um I've been I've been trying to do a better job of this when I am stressed out working from home and I am working with some of the guys on brand ghost because sometimes I will notice that I'm jumping between like jumping between something and I'll send a message and like it's short because I'm rushing between stuff and because maybe I'm agitated and it's not work right and then I'm like no but these guys are like these are some of my best friends like it's not an excuse to be an ass so I'm I'm consciously trying to practice like how did I just say that like and sometimes it will take me a little bit maybe maybe it's like 30 minutes an hour later I'm like hey

by the way sorry like I'm because I'm reflecting on this I'm like I shouldn't I shouldn't say things like that it's not my intention um and just try to commit to doing better so soft skills soft skills are important we got to practice them I hope that was helpful uh for you commenter I didn't get your name so I apologize for that um lots to think about right and uh ultimately you have to choose your own path so I think the best that I can do is just offer you different perspectives on things and give you some stuff to think through so hope it helps thanks for tuning in we'll see you next time time