Getting Credit for the Work That Matters Most

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Hey folks, we're going to a YouTube comment and this is going to bring us back to our sort of normal conversation we have on this channel around level setting expectations with your manager. So, this viewer was asking about um sort of newer at Microsoft. This isn't going to be uh like a Microsoft only sort of video, but I'm going to start by talking about it from that perspective. But they're curious as a newer full-time employee, what are things they can do uh with respect to their work and their working relationship with their manager to to show like high performance. Um so what are ways that they can show to their manager that they're that they're, you know, doing good work, that they're trying hard and and sort of getting that uh that across. And so, uh, figured I'd talk about this so I can kind of layer in my perspective from being at Microsoft.

But like I said, I don't think I don't think that any of my advice here is going to be specific to someone at Microsoft. It's just that it might have a bit of that lens or bias. Okay. So, first off, I think, you know, awesome to be kind of thinking about this, especially with uh respect to improving career development, that kind of stuff. Um, I I know, you know, not everyone is is like this, and I'm not saying you have to be, of course, like for some people, a job's a job. You know, you get your paycheck, you're happy, that's cool. Um, and there's literally nothing wrong with that at all. Um, it's not for me to me or anyone else to dictate or decide that for you, right? Um, you know, you're going to get fulfillment out of your your life, however you choose to do that.

Um, and for people where they're at some point in their career, if that's early on, whatever it is, if they're aspiring to reach some goals, to improve, whatever that looks like for them, sounds like in this person's case, like that's that's part of it, right? They want to be able to demonstrate that that they're doing a good job. So, the the general meta advice I'm going to have here is kind of like I said right when I started this video, it's going to be all about level setting expectations with your manager. And it's I I always find it funny when we say this on this channel because uh I know there's folks that have been around since near the beginning and we've joked that it needs to be on like a t-shirt or a mug or something because I say it a lot. But uh the reason I I say it sounds kind of funny though is that like it's it's super generic advice.

But I also think that like that is the thing that needs to happen. It's just it's generic because it's going to look very different for different people and your and the current state of your working relationship. Right? So I would say based on what this person's saying, uh they're, you know, newer as a full-time employee at Microsoft. I don't know how how long that is per se, whether that's first few weeks, if that's first few months, if it's their first year, whatever. Um, so they're newer, right? And to me that that indicates that their working relationship with their manager is is newer as well. Um, that doesn't mean that it's good or bad. Um, it's just that it's newer, right? Like if you think about uh people that you know, right? There's some people that you sort of click with right away. you have good open communication right away.

And there's some people that you may know that um you have that kind of thing now and it it took a long time, right? Just every every sort of a human relation is going to be different. And so, uh I don't know what that looks like for this person, right? Um in their in their question, they didn't say here's the exact status. I don't expect that of people, but I don't really know. So, it's hard to to give specific advice around that. But my assumption would be that it's newer and I would lean more towards if it's newer probably needs some work, right? If I had to air on one side of that uh that spectrum, it probably needs some work. And nothing wrong with that. So, how do you approach it? Right? And I think that as a engineering manager uh personally the way that I would be very open to this kind of thing is like is for people to literally direct directly ask me that.

Um every manager is going to be different of course. Uh I talk about this kind of stuff obviously through my own lens so you get my bias. Uh but I I am the kind of manager that really appreciates open direct communication. I realize that's uh that's hard. Um and that means that I have to build trust with my team, right? I need to build trust and respect because uh I can't ever expect them to be direct and honest with me if they don't feel safe. Okay? So, as I say those words, I want you to think for yourself like, hm, if I had to go tell my manager something difficult, do I do I feel like there's a safe place to do it? And if the answer's no, that could be like you need to work with your manager over time to to build like that kind of uh that kind of comfort, that kind of trust, that kind of respect.

Um how you do that is obviously going to be very situational. And so uh for just as an example for you it might be that um that you don't trust your manager yet, right? That maybe they haven't demonstrated um on a sort of regular basis or a consistent enough basis that when they say something they follow through on it, right? It's hard to trust people until you have that kind of uh perspective. Maybe uh your manager is someone who has um sort of surprised you in negative ways uh maybe unintentionally but like there's surprises or they don't follow through on things. So it's um it's it's hard to have trust in people like that, right? The side effect too is that respect can also be impacted through that.

So, I want you to think about those interactions with your manager and um ultimately if there's things you're doing over time to try and, you know, see if you can uh build trust and respect with them at that if that's not working despite everything that you try, like it might just be that you're not in a great spot. You also need to prove this to your manager, right? It goes both ways. So, being able to say, "Okay, here's what I am going to do." following up on it, doing the thing, demonstrating that you are dependable and accountable. Like these are things that go a long way in building trust, right? It's uh it's not anything specific to software engineering. It's if you think about people, you know, it's hard to trust people you know if they never follow through on things and they're not dependable. They're not accountable, right?

But if you think about people you know that are demonstrating those things, then you probably have a higher degree of trust with them. They're reliable. So these kinds of things, the trust and respect are a foundational thing that you want to try and work on building in conversations with your manager. And you can start this in my opinion at least, especially if it's a newer thing, by by bringing some things up. So, for example, if you're in this position where you're like, I'm not really sure if I'm demonstrating uh the right things to to show like high performance, right? It might not even be high performance. It might be that you're at least doing like the minimum depending where you want to start on that, right? But having this conversation with your manager and saying like, "Hey, like in a one-on-one or bringing it up before a one-on-one to say this is the the topic that I'd like to discuss and saying like, "Hey, I just wanted to talk about uh my performance.

Um, you know, I just wanted to have an open conversation with you to understand uh different ways that I can make sure you have visibility into the work that I'm doing, that I have the right priorities, and that I am uh at least meeting your expectations. And of course, I would like to work towards exceeding those. So, uh, if that's something that we can talk about in our next oneonone, that would be awesome. Uh, for me, that kind of thing, like especially having a little bit of notice is the best. Uh, just because I'm the kind of person that likes to prepare. So, it's not that if someone asked me that in the middle of a one-on-one, I would be like, "Oh god, no." Like, we can't.

It's just that we could talk through it and then I would probably leave that one-on-one with them being like, "Okay, I need to do more homework so that I can give them a better answer." So, it's not about like for me, it's not about catching me off guard and I'm upset or nervous or whatever. It's just I need to make sure that I have my thoughts organized. But that kind of thing, in my opinion, is a really good way to just start a conversation around it. Right? It's being direct without it's not demanding. It's not rude. Um, in my opinion, it's an expectation of a manager to be able to to have those conversations, to be able to articulate that information clearly to their team members. So, if you just as an example, if you're thinking about saying that to your manager and you're like, "Oh like that is wildly uncomfortable." Um, where does that discomfort come from?

Right? Is that is that from you? which is totally totally fine, right? If you've never done something like that, um it can be, you know, it can make you feel nervous. Um especially if it's a newer working relationship with your manager. I get it. It can feel nervous because it's not an everyday conversation we have. It's just not right. It's not every day you go up to a friend and you're like, "Hey, I just wanted to know like am I meeting your expectation?" We don't do this often. So, yeah, it's going to be a little weird, but the the point I'm trying to get across is a couple things. One is that uh it's going to be weird and like that's not a reason for you to just avoid doing it. It's not going to get any better if you never do it. Uh and number two is like that in my opinion should be an expectation of your manager to be able to have that conversation.

And number three, this is also a good way for you to gauge what that is like with your manager because a couple things can happen, right? One is that they're like, "Heck yeah, like let's talk about that and like see you in the next oneonone and and we'll go over it." Uh and then they do like they actually come to the oneonone and they talk to you about those types of things. Um like that's one possible outcome. Uh, one is that, uh, you know, you get into that one-on-one and they they're avoidant of it. Even when you bring it up, it's kind of like, oh, well, what about next time? And they keep pushing it off. Like, that's not a great sign. Um, especially if there's no reason. Uh, it's kind of kind of weird. Maybe it's a matter of like, oh, was uh something came up and it's a legitimate reason.

Wasn't prepared. Uh, you know, let me follow up with the old schedule more time. these kinds of things are part of life. Um, but if you notice there's this pattern where it keeps getting pushed off and it's like it's avoidant behavior. To me, that's a red flag. I don't even know what that even suggests. Like the your manager doesn't know how to do their job or something. I don't know. Um, you can have situations where uh, and this might take more time where you have the conversation, you're trying to align on the expectations and then what you notice over time is that what your manager says is not lining up with their actions or you're sinking later uh, on these types of things and it's like they're they've changed like the goalpost has moved and it's constantly moving without them being very clear about it. like that's a bit of a red flag, but all of these things like they they they can get better.

There's the the possibility for them to get better if you're aware of these types of interactions and you try to have conversations about them, right? Like it's it's accountability and it it goes back to your manager as well. So for example, if you were talking about hey like I want to make sure that I have clarity on if I'm meeting expectations and you guys talk through it and you're sharing for from your perspective like this is what would help me understand on a you know sort of regular basis if I'm if I'm on track if I'm you know doing what I need to do to be working towards promotion and career growth like these are the things that would help me and if your manager is saying back to you like here's the things that I ect and here's how you know you can help

me as a manager um observe these things and sort of uh make sure I have the evidence of them if you guys are aligned on that and in follow-up conversations and it doesn't have to be like you know every day or necessarily every week sometimes this is like a bi-weekly a monthly thing where you're kind of like re-checking in on this stuff that's for you guys to decide um when you're doing those kind of check-ins, if you notice that things are kind of deviating, like speak up about it, right? It's like, oh, like based on, you know, other conversation we had, here's here's what I thought or here's what I expected. Um, can we talk about that? Your manager might be saying the same thing to you, right? So, using these as opportunities to to realign, I think, is important. I think it's a very natural thing for us to to sort of pick up on these differences and be silent about it because it almost feels confrontational to ask.

Right? So, I just I'm going to make up a random example to try and illustrate my point. Let's say that uh depending on your level or something um your your manager saying hey like I actually have this expectation of you that you know within the team I need you to start leading some more design conversations and uh we do design documents on the team and so like it would be really good to see that um you know over the next upcoming months or whatever when we're starting to pick up the new feature work that that either you are um you know leading some of the designs or you're making sure you participate uh proactively in some of the other designs of team members, making sure talking with them early on, jumping in on the reviews, etc. Like being involved like I really want to see design from you.

Okay? And then in an upcoming sync between the two of you, whether that's a month, two months down the line, maybe what happens is your manager says, um, like, hey, like, uh, we're checking in for you wanted to talk about like performance and stuff like that. I'm not really seeing this and this is one of the things we talked about, right? You there's a million reasons why that could happen. Maybe it's like you didn't know what to do when you were dropping the ball. Maybe it was like, "Hey, remember that we had that really big incident and I had to go spend literally an entire month on these other things." Like that was a bit of a a distraction from this. Like it's not it's not like a right or wrong thing. It's about clarifying. And you're you might say the latter case and your manager is like, "Oh Yeah, like good point." Like, you know, this is still a focus.

I want to make sure that you can have those opportunities. That's something I I need to see kind of uh for your level. Um, but at least it's not like a, oh man, like Billy's dropping the ball on this. It's just clarity. And it can work the other way, too, right? So, you might say to your manager, you know, like, hey, I think I've been doing really well on this stuff cuz I've done um, you know, I I wrote this design up. I help with this other person, other two people's designs or whatever. Uh, so, you know, wanted to to check in like if that's aligned. And they and then they go like, "Oh, I thought we talked about um I don't know uh something completely different.

I thought you said you were going to refactor the test infrastructure and like I thought that's what we were working towards and like I don't know why you're talking to me about design docs." Like this is where you could say, "Hey, look like that is different than the expectations we talked about according to my perspective." Like this is what we I thought we agreed on, right? And if you have, especially if you take notes and stuff or have it documented, like great. It's not that your manager is a piece of or they're trying to surprise you. They might go, "Oh my god, like I'm so sorry. That was Sally on the team that I was talking to about that." Like, "Duh." Yeah. Like, "My bad." And then you move on and it's like, "Great. Okay. Thank you for bringing that evidence forward.

Yes, that's exactly what we talked about." Or it might be like they said, "Hey, don't you remember this other conversation we had and I said that this is a different priority and you agreed to it and you just forgot." Like it it's not a who's right, who's wrong thing. It's just about getting back to clarity. Um it's one of like when you have this misalignment. This is this is a thing that just happens in general. It doesn't have to be a working relationship with your manager. It could be with teammates. could be with people on different teams. When you have misalignment and you're observing that people are not meeting the expectations that you thought, it's so easy for us to start having friction, start building resentment and then depending on your personality type and I like I am very biased for this by the way. uh to like to not like not want to have confrontation.

Like that is my natural tendency to be like, "Oh man, like this this sucks." Like I like I don't want to do something about this because it feels confrontational. That is absolutely my natural tendency. I'm saying this out loud because I don't want to say all of this to you and make you think that like I'm sitting here going, "Oh, just snap your fingers and it's it's easy to, you know, solve all these problems." It's not. It's totally awkward. It's totally awkward, but like depending on what you're like, you might be the opposite of me and it's easy for you to have these types of conversations. It's not easy for me, but these are types of things that like they kind of have to happen or else the resentment builds and gets bad and then there's too much friction with what's going on. That's a green light.

Nice. Um, so think think about this in the context of your manager, right? In in my opinion, just how I kind of approach my career and how I you know try to navigate this with people I manage is like my role as an engineering manager is ultimately to make sure that you can do your work as effectively as possible and to help you grow in your career. And like I know that some people hear that and they go, "Well, Nick, that's bullshit." like you have a responsibility to the business and yeah I do but from my experience of so far just over 13 years of being an engineering manager the way that I do that most effectively is by supporting you because in my opinion if you are not engaged and motivated to do good work there is nothing I'm going to be able to do to get good results in the short term maybe.

But uh I'm not about having uh hopefully short-term success on things by burning people out, making them hate me, by making them hate what they're doing. I would much rather approach things in a way that uh you know, people are like, "Hell yeah, like I love what I'm doing as much as possible. Uh love love being here and I'm excited to do this work." I know that's impossible to guarantee for everyone, but that's the goal for me at least. Okay. Any parking? No parking at CrossFit, man. Man, there's nothing. Okay, we'll park over here. So yeah, with all that said, I do think it's really important to start having those conversations early with your manager. And so that's the the meta point, right? Is like I can't tell you the thing to do. I think that if you have a conversation with your manager, that's ultimately um going to get you the best alignment.

Hope that helps. See you in the next one.